Becoming a mother is a huge milestone in a woman's life. In addition to the physiological changes that occur during pregnancy, many psychological, emotional and social challenges are also experienced. It's often assumed that women fall in love with their children at first sight, but according to Figes (2008), shock, guilt and even grief are more common feelings. It can be hard to love a baby who stays awake all night and cries all day. New motherhood changes everything. It changes the way we think and feel about life, love and family. It changes our priorities radically and permanently. Some parents wish children came into the world with an instruction manual. But while there are lots of pregnancy manuals, once a baby is born, the focus switches almost exclusively to the baby. There are very few books that talk about what mothers might be going through and there are very few women who are prepared for the radical shifts in identity and the emotional intensity of motherhood. Because the motherhood role carries with it numerous responsibilities, women often find themselves struggling to function and meet cultural role expectations (Beth, 2012).
From a personal point of view, I was not maternal and I didn't have high expectations of motherhood. I thought babies cried a lot and thought I was prepared for stressful days. However, I was not prepared for what was about to hit me and how much my life was about to change. Being a mother didn't seem clear and simple. At the same time, I felt ashamed that I wasn't coping well.
Adaptation to motherhood in the context of the early 21st century has received limited attention in midwifery research, creating an assumption that the process of adaptation is universal rather than evolving within the life and societal context of women across generations (Aber et al, 2012). For this reason, a better understanding of the process of adaptation to motherhood should enhance midwives' ability to prepare women for this transition and to provide care following childbirth. Additionally, the time a midwife spends with a mother in the postpartum period is not enough to support her adaptation to her new role. The results of a qualitative exploratory study of the perspectives and experiences of first-time mothers within a year of giving birth suggest that mothers could benefit from an occupation-based, cohesive interdisciplinary programme to educate and facilitate adaptation and transition to the role of motherhood (Beth, 2012).
Research has suggesed that women need to learn skills relating to the care of their baby, and to adjusting to their new role (Department of Health (DH), 2011). Midwives are in a key position to deliver health messages and influence the health and wellbeing of women, children, families and society. Not only does the midwife play an important role in supporting, encouraging and informing women, but the midwife's contribution to public health in its widest context of physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing has been recognised (Byrom and Garrod, 2007). In essence, midwives need to acknowledge that childbirth and raising a family are more than purely clinical events. By going back to the ‘with woman’ philosophy and seeing her as a whole person, listening to her hopes and fears, beliefs and knowledge about motherhood, a midwife is in a better position to provide not only physical care, but also offer her emotional, spiritual and psychological presence (Hunter, 2006). These small gestures that go beyond the call of duty, are what is required to administer effective and unconditional love in midwifery (Clarke, 1996).
Without addressing the wider factors that affect people at different stages and key transition points in their lives, there is a risk of parent education being a weak link in the continuum of midwifery care. Health professionals may have a tendency to focus on care tasks, and not address these wider needs of women. Again, emotional and social needs may be missed through a focus on medical needs and child development. With this in mind, the preparation to birth and beyond document (DH, 2011) identified that a preparation for birth and parenthood should not only reflect priorities for public health outcomes, but also the individual needs of mothers and their partners.
To be able to support parents in developing strong and loving relationships with their babies, health professionals need to recognise that parents have different social, physical, psychological and spiritual needs at different stages of their journey through pregnancy, childbirth and in the postnatal period. ‘Midwives have the most amazing opportunity to be able to help mothers and fathers shape the destiny of their babies’ lives’ (Vincent, 2013: 55).