We all value a good night's sleep. For those of us that have adjusted to living with a newborn, this can be something we strive for and initially believe to be utterly unattainable.
As a midwife for over 20 years, I think the only regular advice I gave to the sleep deprived was ‘try and sleep when your baby sleeps.’ After reading this book, I realise how futile and unhelpful this advice was and will never offer this response to new parents again.
This book is an informative read and even though I read it in order, it is a book you could easily dip in and out of. Chapter 13's title, ‘support yourself to better sleep’, and opening lines, ‘you may have jumped straight to this chapter’ and ‘I don't blame you’, are aimed at those too tired to read a whole book and who need to get some sleep. This is a certainly a book where you can search for specific answers without reading it in its entirety.
It is full of sensible advice, great ideas to resolve issues around sleep/lack of sleep for your new arrival, yourself or indeed anyone in the family that is struggling to attain a full 8 hours. It tells us all we want to know and more about the first few days (and up to 2 years) of adjusting to this tired state, sleep deprivation, the ‘sleep thief’ and what we can do to make it better.
Chapters 1 and 2 cover myths and truths around sleep. The myth that ‘poor sleep, in pregnancy prepares you for what is to come’ is an unhelpful phrase that is reviewed, explained and backed up with science. The author encourages the reader to filter out negatives and unhelpful information that family, friends and even strangers may offer. There is plenty of science in this book, but explained in a way that is accessible to all. I felt I was getting logical explanations to many issues around sleep.
Chapter 4 is about establishing good sleep patterns in pregnancy and why/how this impacts your sleep. Pregnancy after baby loss, barriers to sleep and social stigmas are all included in this chapter. Inclusivity is evident; co-parenting, surrogacy (where bonding may be an issue) and transgender parents are all considered, relaying how and why there may be additional issues. This gave me things to consider and made me reflect on my own opinions and beliefs as a midwife.
A few of the chapters have a ‘tired parents summary’ at the end, aimed at those so tired that they cannot stay awake to read the whole chapter. These are helpful summaries of the chapter's details.
Chapter 9, for me, is a must read for everyone, parents, midwives and all those with a view. ‘Why not leave them to cry?’ is an argument I have heard both sides of and this chapter reviews this topic in a non-judgemental way. It looks at the evidence from both sides and leaves the reader to decide.
There is some great practical advice and ideas in this book on returning to work and night working. I thought this chapter would appeal to midwives (and all shift workers) after parental leave and preparing to return to work.
Overall, this book is aimed at new parents struggling with getting enough sleep. A midwife reading this book would gain enhanced knowledge on how to support sleep-deprived parents in the postnatal period. I liked that this book would not make any struggling parents feel that they are failing or doing anything wrong if their newborn does not seem to be sleeping. It gives the tired parent reassurance not to give up hope and never be afraid to ask for help (and what others can do to help). Throughout the book, there are charts to complete for those who like a visual, covering bedtime routines, nap gaps, sleep pattern observations and even a quiz on sleep hygiene.
It covers everything that you may think of and plenty more besides and the author willingly admits not to know all the answers. This is an exceptionally well-referenced book, with all references listed as they relate to each chapter.